


A punny night

by aldendraco



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Mentions of other characters - Freeform, also pietro is alive, mentions of the rest of the avengers and a few SHIELD agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 06:23:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13117878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aldendraco/pseuds/aldendraco
Summary: Wanda has a fight with Pietro, so Natasha and Maria take her out for a walk to try and lift her spirits.[For the Maximoff Fic Exchange 2k17! Prompt was "Ladies Night Out. Wanda, Natasha, and any other of the female Avengers, from any era of the team. Only requirement is badass ladies getting along and being badass. :D" by Anonymous. ]





	A punny night

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [MaximoffFicExchange2017](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/MaximoffFicExchange2017) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Avengers Assemble: Ladies Night Out. Wanda, Natasha, and any other of the female Avengers, from any era of the team. Only requirement is badass ladies getting along and being badass. :D  
> -  
> Ahhhh I managed to finish in time! Sorry if this was a little bit delayed! And also huge apologies because it is probably horrible. I was so nervous about writing it since I've pretty much never written about these characters before, but it was also really fun to work with! I tried to do my best, so feel free to point out if there's something you would have liked to see but I failed to include -I will try to add it in later, if possible!  
> Also apologies for the horrible puns. My mind is a wreck. I hope the fic didn't end up being too OOC, ugh. I'm better with angst than I am with yhis kind of prompts ^^;   
> Hope you enjoy it, Anon!

Wanda Maximoff always gave off that mysterious, secretive aura. Hiding something -part of herself? Her feelings? Her thoughts? Or, maybe, she was just a mysterly altogether, the essence of her very being eluding the comprehensive skills of an ordinary human. 

Natasha was really close to agreeing with that explanation.

"Come on, Wanda, just lighten up a little bit". The older woman all but exclaimed, seeing the younger Avenger sulking and staring into her paper cup of hot chocolate as they walked the streets of Manhattan. Maria, next to her, failed to hold back a sneer as she lifted her gloved hand, pointing upwards.

"Really? Of all the things you could have thought of?"

Natasha rolled her eyes, looking up to the Christmas lights hanging from practically every street pole. Holiday decoration would always go over the top in that specific area of the city, wouldn't it. 

"It wasn't meant to be a pun." She shrugged, taking a sip of her own drink -hot chocolate, with a hint of vodka that the old ventor behind the stall had been inventive enough to add. Maria shook her head. 

"It would have been a really good one. Besides," she cast a worried look towards Wanda, who had remained silent during the other women's exchange "it might have actually gotten her to crack a smile." 

Hearing those words, Wanda finally graced them by lifting her eyes off the contents of her cup and staring at them -her eyes gave off no menace, but the otherwordly aura that permanently surrounded her granted them a slightly unnerving reddish glint. 

"I told you, I'm not in the mood." She murmured, before quickly looking away -she still had trouble restraining her powers when she focused into one direction for too long, too intently. "I would like to turn back to the Tower now, please?" 

Natasha and Maria exchanged quick, darting looks of worry. They'd been out and about for a few hours now, but Wanda was still as grumpy and ill-tempered as she was before. The fight with her brother seemed to have taken quite a heavy toll on her. 

"If you permit me to say so, Wanda, I think you're overreacting a little bit." Maria admitted, shrugging and gazing at the snow-caped trees as the trio strolled towards the nearby park. "This can't have been the first time you and your brother had an argument, am I right?" 

"Of course it isn't." Wanda whispered thoughtfully, hesitantly bringing her cup to her mouth and wincing -still too hot for her liking. "It's just... it's never been that bad before."

"I see." Maria replied, then leaned towards Natasha. "How bad was it?" she said in a hushed voice, hoping the youngest woman wouldn't hear her -she had arrived to the Avengers' Tower a couple of hours after the fighting had died down and thus had close to no knowledge of what had occured. 

"Ah, you know, nothing to extreme." Natasha gave a shrug of her shoulders, but Wanda's head snapped up. 

"I blasted him onto the wall." Her voice was harsher than before, and a few tendrils of scarlet energy rippled around her. She blinked, lowering her eyes again in order to keep her energy in check.

"Sorry." She mumbled, fingers fidgeting around the cup. "I just... I know I overreacted. But he... he wouldn't listen to me."

"Listen to what?" Maria inquired again, this time looking between Wanda and Natasha and eagerly expecting an answer -honestly this was beginning to feel a lot like an interrogation, one for which not even SHIELD training could have prepared her sufficiently. 

Natasha let out a sigh, as if sharing the sentiment. 

"Pietro... well, he's a good lad, but -forgive me for this, Wanda- he's such a mule sometimes. You'd think that a brush with death as close as his would knock some caution into his thick skull. Guess what: you'd be wrong. Kid seems to think he's indestructible or something."

"He just -he just puts himself into so much danger all the time." Wanda seemed to snap, her voice finally turning into more than a muffled whisper. "In every mission we've been ever since joining the Avengers, he never listens to Steve. He charges in and..." 

"...and you don't want him to get hurt again, yes?" Maria concluded, this time without Natasha adding any information. 

"Yes." Wanda admitted. "He's always going on and on about me needing to take care of myself during a fight. Yet he never takes care of himself in return. I worry. And when I tell him I worry..." She sighed, taking a few seconds to keep her emotions in check. "He acts as if it's not a big deal. As if he didn't almost die a few months ago, in Sokovia". 

Natasha and Maria shared yet another look and a mutual sigh.

"So he never takes your worries seriously, and today you got so mad at him that you two had a shouting match, and you ended up blasting him on the wall, and you haven't spoken since?" Maria confirmed.

"I suppose that's one way to put it." 

"You could just apologise, you know." Natasha suggested. "Then calmly explain to him what set you off. Don't get me wrong, all of this is almost entirely his fault -but he's your brother, yes? You two should solve your differences in a civilised manner, and that lies on the both of you." 

"Maybe." Was all that Wanda said, disheartened, then fell silent. Natasha huffed, her breath forming a small white cloud into the chilly air. 

"Well, that can wait until we get back. We're out here to unwind, after all." She reminded the Sokovian, in another attempt to cheer her up. When she received no response other than a quiet 'hmm', she looked back to Maria. Years of training and operating together in SHIELD had granted them an almost telepathic way of communicating. Maria caught her eyes, and nodded discreetly.

Time for plan B, then.

"Anyway, I hear Tony's planning on proposing to Pepper soon."

Wanda's eyebrows rose almost unwillingly, something that didn't go unnoticed by the other women. Alright then, that seemed to get her attention. 

"It's high time he did that, anyway!" Maria exclaimed, making sure to make her voice overly excited. "It's been almost a decade this lovesick fool's been dancing around the topic."

"More like, being too busy fighting evil masterminds inside an armored suit."

"Bet he's gonna show up into his Iron Man suit in the wedding. Maybe he'll just paint a tuxedo pattern over it and wear a tie and that will be all." 

A small, muffled sound came from Wanda, and Natasha's lips twitched a little. Well, that seemed to be working. She glanced towards Maria.

'Go on', the latter's eyes seemed to be saying.

"Hey, Maria" Natasha started, proceeding with the plan "what do you call a skilled, capable Tony Stark?"

"What?"

"Iron Can."

A sudden, shrill laugh came out of Wanda as soon as Natasha dropped her phrase. Maria grinned, and seized her chance. 

"What do you say to Steve Rogers when he sneezes?

"What?"

"God Bless America". 

Another, louder bout of laughter from the Sokovian woman -this time one she didn't even try to conceal. 

"What the hell, Maria!" Natasha exclaimed in a purposefully overdramatic tone. "Not even Bruce can beat you to these puns!"

"I gues he's not as... punny as he thinks, then."

This time Wanda sounded a lot as if she was choking on her drink, and afted giving her a soft pat in the back, Natasha took her turn. 

"What's Hawkeye's favorite social media website? But of course Twitter."

"The Director was pretty mad when Agent Coulson ruined his plane. I guess you could say he was... Furious." 

"Speaking of Coulson, he must be philing pretty bad after learning how he came back to life."

"Yeah, screw Loki for killing him. If I was him I would low-ki feel pretty horrible." 

"I hear Thor's planning to dress as a Roman gladiator for Halloween. So I guess you could call him a... gladiathor."

"Did you know? Steve's favorite hat is a good old baseball cap".

By the time the older women ran out of puns to throw at each other, Wanda was close to breaking into tears. In the end, she had to see down on a bench, passing her cup to Maria and wrapping her arms around her sides as she laughed, almost in hysterics. A few more bouts of laughter and a couple of quick, eager breaths followed until she was finally able to form a coherent sentence.

"A-Alright... alright." She gasped, still chuckling sporadically. "I get it. No more moping." She stood up, and Maria handed her her cup, then secretly fist-bumped Natasha with her now free hand. 

"Glad to see you go back to normal." She said.

"Unfortunately, after that I don't think you'll be able to look the rest of the Avengers straight in the eye without giggling like a schoolgirl."

"Hey, I believe my self-restrain is better than that."

"Hmm-hm. Sure, little red riding hood."

That got Wanda to cackle loudly again. "That was so uncalled for!"

"Yeah, that one was a failure," Maria agreed, smirking. "What are you, some humour-less old widow?"

"You know, these suddenly stop being so entertaining when you're on the receiving end." Natasha admitted while huffing out a laugh. "Anyway, maybe we should head back now. It's getting pretty late and there's work to be done tomorrow morning; we're distributing presents to the kids of the local orphanage, remember?" 

Wanda nodded. "Yeah, maybe we should go back."

"Are you ready to talk it out with your brother?" Maria asked. 

"Yes." Wanda affirmed, getting up from the bench. "Thank you for your help." 

"Don't mention it." Natasha replied as the three of them begun to walk towards the street. "That's what friends are for."

"Can't say it wasn't an interesting experience, myself." Maria said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Where else could I find so many new puns to bother Coulson and May with, huh?"

"Yeah. I guess it... maykes you wonder!"

"Romanof, I swear to God!".

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is a little sudden but I had no idea how to close it. But hey, at least the puns were good, right? :D Or... not XD (as a note, the God Bless America pun is actually from a tumblr post. All the others are my own, though). A few things (mainly the puns) were supposed to be italicised, but I couldn't edit them to be so in this site.  
> I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! Have a beautiful day/evening!


End file.
